Another Attempt
Morning again,
Sitting here, debating ways to connect...
She reaches to turn off the alarm,
Cool breeze comes through the window,
blah blah blah...

It shall return, I know it, it's here somewhere

Well, that was quick...
Found her or she found me, either way,
she makes me want to write again,
And with this long absence
it has filled myself with a lot of thoughts,
yet, still I question...

Well, that was quick, back in bit...

Come at the Worst Time
Oh sure, you come at the worst time,
but then again, that is usually how it works
(was my thought pattern).
Comfortable in every way in your company.
The Laugh that melts my fears
(even now when I think about it).
Never had to think of what to say, or do next.
You fed my insecurities, with calming words.
You knew my situation, even more so than I did.
But that did not stop you
from conquering my weaknesses,
for those you turned into strengths.
On the same page,
taking turns turning them together.
When looking into the crowd,
and my gaze stops the moment
You came into focus.
Challenged me and Intrigued me,
with your reactions.

Shiver my Spine
Will you shiver my Spine
And Drink my Wine
Even if it be Poison...
I will, have, and eventually Break
This Passion
And Fashion
You...

Tip Toe on my Center
Answers Bleed
Such a Mess...

This is wanting,
This is haunting,
For the need to make sense
Is optional...

Random Memory #1224
Down a hallway, within the porch, you and a "friend" giggle
As You peek around the corner and I instinctively catch your eye
The moment I saw you, I could see your innocence and purity
But I knew then as I do now, that I was everything your mother warned you about

Yet still your "friend" persisted we "conversate", for which I hesitated
Not for reasons of uninterested delight, but for reasons of not allowing my ways to destroy
"Fine" I mutter, and am directed to the porch.
Awkward silence and wide eyed expression fills your face as you look up at me
And a smile that broke my resolve, yet not my conviction

That smile is soon reversed, as I explain my situation and solutions

I leave you in a state of confusion and disbelief
Through the smoke and patron filled house, Your "friend" follows
She inquires about our interaction
And as I sit at the edge of my bed, I explain

Your "friend" seems relieved and excited at my explanation
For the next move was purely beyond the scope my intoxicated state
As we lock lips and I lay back upon my bed, "friend" on top
Innocence and purity soon enters the room
to find what I most definitely warned about in our earlier encounter

to be continued...

Random Memory #384
As we sit silently on the bus going no where
Our silence is broken with your remark about my actions
You let out all your steam upon my ears

As my presence is too much, you pull the cord
off you go, and of course I chase

As that was your intention as I find out later

So here we are in the middle of no where
Your anger and my shivers

I never wanted to say goodbye
Circumstances pulled us apart
Yet somehow we always ended up on each others path

As you explained to me, that maybe there was a reason
"Did you ever think that maybe it was intentional?" you suggest
As your anger soon becomes obvious to me

Trying to embrace you, you take a swing
Surprise and Stunned, we both looked
Never have I had a bleeding nose, until that night

Again we sit in silence
Snow on my nose, we decide to pick a destination
my place is closer and you agree

Cold, wet and bloody
The alcohol soon wears off
You don my plaid
You burst into laughter while we lay together
in darkness

"I'm glad you find it funny" I whisper

to be continued...


Undefiled
The time we had together
was prohibited in the eyes of another
For you knew it and so did I
And that did nothing to stop
Our methods to create memories

Your laughter melted my mind
and filled it with a ringing sensation
Unlike anything heard, and tireless
Even now as I recall, it bursts loud and clear

As our time was short, I have to remind myself
That it was for the better
For if I am who I am, it would have ended in my usual ways
And for that, I will have those memories
pure...


Non Existing
You do not exist
For I have not created you yet...

If I would want
You could cure

So many have come close,
only to fail miserably
at the demands of my dementia...

With a multitude of thoughts
And a series of trails
One must recycle endlessly

You...

For Nothing more than a Memory
No matter how much an intention be
Your presence fades easily as it came
I will conclude without denial and sacrifice
Now continue to bleed and creed your stand

With all this turmoil and confusion
You retreat and deny

Too bent out of shape to give a concept of reality
"I am too confused to make up my mind"
All too eager to mend your ways of dealing
Better to dismiss than deal, easy way out
Only to bring you back to the battle of
existence...

Consume will they say
For yet I shall see
And delight in your mind
Rip and tear any and all beliefs far beyond your comprehension
disgusting...


Another moment
No I shall not give into your style

I am not here to amuse your adolescent ignorance and shallow opinions

Build up your walls as I have already crushed everyone with experience and repetition
Yet you continue to believe without consequences...

Bitter? No bitter than the scorned which could not hold a thought

Would not know happiness if it crept into every orifice of your mentality

Well the "one" does not exist for the reason of your infinite demands and limitations
Shall never find, as it was never was...

Such easy it is to not attempt or ignore
And wonder why your empty is never filled...

But most convincing of the lot
Is the ones that actually have no clue
Yet continue to dismiss the confusion
Only to be confronted with blatant excuses
Which of course only fuels your vicious cycle

Ah, such delight it is to generalize
Gets the hairs raised and self infecting giggles...

Red the Red that Fury Blinds
Your presence seems to press my buttons
And my buttons be high
My presence seems to press your buttons
And your buttons be nigh

And so now are you suppose to be considered my ex
Since only for a bit we tangled and mangled our words
On a couch we cuddled and giggled about our success
Only to have it fade within days
Now we hold each other at length
Such a short bout it was and fast to conclude

So it was, what is was
A sparkle and flame, rose too high
And out of control, for both of us

Another story to keep and to use against
our "I told you so" mentality

But we did
"destroyed each other, and did not make history"...

Random Memory #814
night started out dragging, each group car hopping and making plans that go no where. suddenly unexpected opportunity knocks gently on my window.
"hey, what you guys up to?"
"nothing, you?"
"probably head to _____'s house"
"cool"
" yeah, you wanna come along?"
"sure, we will follow..."

- such a trio of friends, matched with a trio of potentials, while the 6 of us consume jack and breezers
- picking straws and dibs, soon becomes obsolete, as our female counterparts have their own intentions
- the night and consumables soon fade and our matches make their presence
- each couple heads in their own direction
- in a dark light room, the touch of goose bumps collide
- sounds of heavy breathing and moans fill the hallways
- whilst only a certain version be present within my grasp, I shall conclude with that destination


eddie's black on the tape
in a grey mustang
sun coming up over the trees
windows rolled down to get the cool morning air in
3 buddies quietly contemplate
contemplate the events of the mornings endeavours


to a city that resides over the bridge...

Room Full of Dresses
Thrown into a room, to make us communicate
Your attempt to make small talk is executed with nervousness
And I calm your chills with a warm hand upon your thigh

As the power goes out and we sit in the dark
I feel your hand poke my face and lips
Trying to get a grasp of where I am

I pull your hand and body closer to mine
And just as we are about to connect the power comes on
Sending a jolt and sudden fright throughout your spine
Whether it was timed or not, it gave us a story to remember...


Not my Car...
With a glance, I vision the past in which we first met
Your mind is already made, with your own first look
Soon to be overturned with the conversational array of banter
and a look that makes you confused and curious
as I raise my head back over the table

On a couch, in a house, on a street, on the east side
we continue to battle our beliefs and bruises
And in a test of my interest, you leave
And stubborn as I am, retreat to the next opponent
Much more and less, we eventually rebound
Only your need is far more exceeded than mine
For now your ease is calmed with my presence

Yet you continue to throw hoops for me to jump through
And I little by little embrace your tactics
And break your concentration
And resolve your intentions

At the request of the time and limits set upon the party
We exit the premises and conclude to our modes of transportations
As I in the state of my consumption
Am not allowed to pursue my course

For your judgement is not whether I am capable
But for your own lingering temptations
I am convinced to enter an agreement with your direction
While others are not invited, we now alone
At your request

Long distance to get back to our starting point
And so our chance to revive the night is conquered
Assumptions are smoothed out and explained
Yet we hold back our intentions

After all the obstacles of the night
We end up in the parking lot of the place that started it all
Lies upon lies are spewed from our mouths
Yet you still believe me, only for your own amusement

You smirk and giggle at my nervousness
and awkward stance, as I question your motives
Your clear of your stance and make it so
You withhold your actions, in fear of consequences

As I do not give you what you wanted, you insist
As I give you what you insist, you overcome
As I resist you, you resist
And we end up on our own path...

to be continued for our next encounter...

Ramble Take One
Looking around the crowd, all unfamiliar faces, enjoying the company of their counterparts.
Laughter and smiles, makes one enjoy its own solace.
And from out of the crowd, comes one with smiles and sparkles in her eyes.
Must wonder the mind frame this one has, to justify the possibility of an encounter.
How one views their own identity amuses many, and may also be considered a curse for consideration.

Hide behind some mask and pretend to ignore the possibility that truth is but a deception.

All memories from now on, will be considered bliss,
for if your presence in them caused any distress according to new principles, shall be void and forgotten.

Random Memory #231
As we drove along the old back road
with the sun rising and the wind blowing
you were looking for your glasses
you decided to check the back seats
as I watched you bend over into the back seat
my eyes not on the road
as a result I steered into the ditch
the car would not start again
frisky and in the middle of nowhere

did you hear that? I said
we looked up to see what the noise was
and a moose nonchalantly walked past
the moose looked at us for a moment
and continued to walk into the woods


© shawnmsoles